There’s that incredibly disappointing “Star Trek: Discovery” I know. Though not exactly. I had no quality expectations going into the first season so I didn’t have any disappointment, just dread of watching the show. But this episode perfectly encapsulates everything the show has done wrong until this point. It’s not really a victory lap of its badness, it’s a bad episode hitting all those points, over and over again.
First off, Anson Mount plays a bit part in this episode. Smaller than Michelle Yeoh who’s a pseudo-surprise cameo but not really because it’s in the “remember the characters from Season One we’ve ignored the last two episodes (and the show’s been better), let’s check in with them” plot. That plot is all about Shazad Latif trying to fit in on the Klingon homeward as sidekick to new leader Mary Chieffo. Chieffo’s already got to deal with the old Klingon men not wanting a woman leader, much less having a human sidekick, even if he is a Klingon grafted onto a Federation officer or some such nonsense. Anyway, the Klingons bickering and plotting is like an old Atari commercial for a “Star Trek” video game but spoofing “Game of Thrones.” Though it gets much worse once there’s action. Director Olatunde Osunsanmi is really bad at the action.
Also it’s going to take a lot to believe Latif can fight off three guys bigger than him, even if they do all have enormous mask-helmets on because the Klingon makeup people have made all bad choices this year, which is impressive since last season’s choices were all bad too. They’re taking it up a (bad) notch.
And it’s hard to be onboard with anything else because the whole Anson Mount takes command, when is Spock showing up subplot has taken a terrible turn in the form of Mia Kirshner as Spock’s mother. Kirshner ain’t no Jane Wyatt. Kirshner ain’t no Majel Barrett, ain’t no Winona Ryder; she probably couldn’t do as good of a job faking Vulcan-birth as Cynthia Blaise either. Kirshner’s really, really, really, really bad. She’s so bad she sucks the life out of “lead” Sonequa Martin-Green. Martin-Green’s entirely support this episode, first for Kirshner, then for Mary Wiseman. Wiseman’s big cliffhanger plot—she’s seeing a ghost—gets resolved super fast here. “Discovery” doesn’t just have bad ideas, it has no commitment to them. Same thing happens, even bigger, in the Latif and Chieffo plot line but I’m trying to stay away from the Klingons. At least on Discovery, Anthony Rapp will amble through like his agent wanted to make sure he got paid for every episode of the season.
But, yeah, it might just be the “Game of Thrones” draining, but I’m currently terrified whatever Martin-Green did to Spock involves pon farr because… the writers are that desperate to be “Game of Thrones”-y.