Suicide Squad

Suicide Squad/The Banana Splits Special (May 2017)

Suicide Squad/The Banana Splits SpecialGiven “The Banana Splits” were a thing in the late sixties, some dated references in Suicide Squad/The Banana Splits Special might make sense. But writer Tony Bedard doesn’t go for sixties or seventies jokes; instead, it’s mid-nineties racial jokes. The Banana Splits reinventing themselves gangsta rap is far less problematic than when the cops are shooting at them because cops don’t care about “Animal Americans.” The editors of the book, who work on the far better Hanna-Barbera books, clearly don’t bring anything to those better books if they let that kind of crud through. Otherwise, it’s lame with mild amusements. Harley Quinn and the Elephant are cute. Ditto Killer Croc and the monkey (almost). Ben Caldwell and Mark Morales’s art is fine, but it’s not like it needs to do much.

However, Mark Russell and Howard Porter’s Snagglepuss backup is awesome. It starts with him telling the HUAC a thing or two, then moves into an inspiration, if sad, lesson for a young writer. It’s awesome. And Porter’s got fantastic detail on anthropomorphized animals. Who knew.

CREDITS

Suicide Splits (Hey, it beats “Banana Squad”); writer, Tony Bedard; penciller, Ben Caldwell; inker, Mark Morales; colorist, Jeremy Lawson; letterers, Troy Peteri and Dave Lanphear. House Fires; writer, Mark Russell; artist, Howard Porter; colorist, Steve Buccellato; letterer, Dave Sharpe. Editors, Brittany Holzherr and Marie Javins; publisher, DC Comics.

The Comics Fondle Podcast | Suicide Squad: The Movie Special

Suicide squad joker posterMatt talked me into seeing Suicide Squad, which I actually forgot to give him crap about on this podcast special.

We talk about the movie, we talk about the comics, we talk about comic book movies. It’s Marvel Comics movies vs. DC Comics movies from a couple DC Comics fans (definitely more so than not, anyway) who don’t even like the Marvel Comics movies too much. Suicide Squad is just so objectively bad, it forces uneasy alliances and unlikely sympathies.

In hindsight, however, the Suicide Squad trailer did have Jared Leto’s Tony Montana meets Patrick Bateman rendition of The Joker promising to hurt someone really, really bad. And the movie delivers. It hurts your brain, really, really bad. Because it’s really, really bad.

So join Matt and I as we relive the lows and lowers and lowests of David Ayer’s 2016 Suicide Squad.

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Suicide Squad (2016, David Ayer)

Suicide Squad is a terrible film. It’s poorly directed, it’s poorly written, it’s poorly acted (some of the bad acting is the fault of the script, which doesn’t have a good moment in it, some of it’s just the actors), it’s terribly photographed, edited, it’s got lousy special effects, it’s this kind of bad, it’s that kind of bad.

Suicide Squad is the pits of mainstream motion pictures–though, you take a movie about a bunch of comic book supervillains and give them lame, pseudo-edgy back stories, and try to entertain the eight year old boys seeing it, with director Ayer and his risibly inept crew, what else could it be? From the first few minutes–outside a couple decent flashback sets (not shots, not scenes, just the sets)–it’s clear the film’s terrible. Once it’s clear Viola Davis is going to have a terribly written role and be terrible in it–you can see the pain of accepting the role in her eyes–there’s nothing to look forward to in the film.

Almost every performance is either bad or awful. Scott Eastwood has about four lines and is background scenery the rest of the time, but he’s far better than most of the other actors. Cara Delevingne is easily the worst performance in the film, followed by Joel Kinnaman as her love interest and the guy who bosses all the supervillains on their lame mission (Ayer’s script is crap at exposition, it’s crap at character development, it’s crap at plotting).

You know, let’s go through the performances bad to best. I might be able to handle that approach, because otherwise the reaction to Suicide Squad is to never want to see another film again. It’s such a disservice to the medium.

Worst is actually Jared Leto, not Delevingne. Delevingne’s awful, but Leto’s far worse. His Joker isn’t crazy, just a blinged-out crime lord who doesn’t so much commit crime as fetishize committing crime. In clubs. Where girlfriend Margot Robbie pole dances. She used to be his psychiatrist. Robbie seems way too young to have gone from clinical psychologist to deranged “queen of crime,” but there are far more obviously deficiencies as far as her character goes. Director Ayer relishes objectifying her; along with the casual violent misogyny and occasional but consistent racist jokes, Robbie betrays Ayer’s target audience: immature male viewers stupid enough to think his movie is cool. Because Suicide Squad isn’t even chilly. Not at its most outlandish moments does it even approach chilly, Ayer’s really bad at directing his bad script. His photographer–Roman Vasyanov–is incompetent at shooting it. His editor, John Gilroy, can’t cut it either. Though Gilroy gets the closest to a pass because it’s not like there are any good takes or setups.

Back to the actors. Leto’s the worst, then Delevingne, then Kinnaman. At that point it starts to get a little confusing. Robbie’s not good. Her part’s lousy, Ayer’s direction of her is lousy, but she never gets a good moment across either. Maybe because Ayer really enjoys victimizing her throughout. Oh, Adam Beach. He likes to hit women. Though he’s convincing in the role. He doesn’t do anything else really.

Maybe sorting the performances isn’t a good idea. There a lot of crappy supporting ones too.

The least embarrassed actor is Jai Courtney. He doesn’t have enough material and his “manic” character is barely around enough to leave an impression, good or bad. He’s trying though. Jay Hernandez is also trying. He’s got a lot of terrible material, but he does try. Will Smith isn’t as bad as he could be. He’s got some bad dialogue and a dumb character arc, but he’s better than most of his costars. Ike Barinholtz is terrible. Sure, his part of abusive sadist is thin, but he’s still bad.

Suicide Squad is an abject waste of time. It’s not well-made in any way, its only surprises come from Ayer’s constant inabilities to direct any of his crap screenplay. The saddest thing about the film is its existence at all. It’s embarrassing it could get made. Any Warner Bros. executives with their fingerprints on this piece of excrement should take the Long Walk as an act of contrition.

0/4ⓏⒺⓇⓄ

CREDITS

Written and directed by David Ayer; director of photography, Roman Vasyanov; edited by John Gilroy; music by Steven Price; production designer, Oliver Scholl; produced by Charles Roven and Richard Suckle; released by Warner Bros.

Starring Will Smith (Deadshot), Margot Robbie (Harley Quinn), Joel Kinnaman (Flag), Viola Davis (Amanda Waller), Jai Courtney (Captain Boomerang), Jay Hernandez (El Diablo), Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Killer Croc), Karen Fukuhara (Katana), Cara Delevingne (June Moone), Adam Beach (Slipknot), Ike Barinholtz (Griggs), Scott Eastwood (GQ) and Jared Leto (The Joker).


Suicide Squad 3 (January 2012)

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Okay… I’m going to say it.

This issue of Suicide Squad is nearly okay. The issue’s plot is fantastic–the Squad has to pretend to be normal people for two hours until they get evacuated by Amanda Waller. In that time, friendships are formed, Harley and Deadshot almost get it on, that idiotic Mad Dog character shows up.

New artist Cliff Richards is probably better than the last guys, but he’s still not any good. But he’s not bad enough to ruin the issue.

Instead, it’s Glass’s dialogue. Even when he can plot out a fun issue, he can’t write the darned thing. Maybe Deadshot and Harley’s dialogue is all right (they’d do better in their own series, à la Bonnie and Clyde, than part of this one).

The issue starts crumbling with the arrival of Captain Boomerang, but good will carries it. Glass’s been reading Jeff Parker’s Thunderbolts apparently.

CREDITS

Last Chance; writer, Adam Glass; artist, Cliff Richards; colorist, Val Staples; letterer, Jared K. Fletcher; editors, Sean Mackiewicz and Pat McCallum; publisher, DC Comics.

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