Poor substitutions

My birthday isn’t until August and I’ve basically gotten myself all the birthday presents I’m going to get myself. Not in the last few months or the last few weeks, but the last few days. Some of them are time-sensitive—Bastille tickets, some limited stock sketchbooks, the new Tardi (someday I’m going to read all my Tardi; someday)—some of them aren’t. I can’t remember the not-time-sensitive ones. A wee bit of retail therapy. I was pretty done until I found out about the Bastille show. It’s not until October. Anticipating something four months away kind of sums it all up right now. I’m in a holding pattern.

So’s my stress, anxiety, and anxiety and stress-fueled depression. It’s a slight depressive state, I’m fully aware of it, yada yada yada, but it’s here and it’s constant and kind of exhausting. It’s all anxiety or stress-fueled (I’m quietly freaking out about one of the cats right now), which is cool. It’s nice not to have other depressive things going on. Except the state of the world and many of the people in it. Though I suppose they’re stressers.

I’ve been playing this game, NeoDefense, for the last couple weeks. It’s a 64-bit rehash of this older game, GeoDefense, but not from the same company. I was going to do a big comparison post of NeoDefense and ColorDefense but wanted to hear back from the developers and didn’t. ColorDefense is the same(ish) engine as GeoDefense but very different sprites(?). NeoDefense is basically just a 64-bit upgrade with a different take on how to do levels. It’s also harder than GeoDefense (I think). I’m not very good at it. It was until I heard how far people were getting in Alto’s Adventure I realized how bad I am at casual iOS games.

I’m not sure the game is helping with the stress or anxiety. It’s a very stress-inducing game. You constantly feel like you’re running out of time, you constantly feel like you make a little mistake and it snowballs into utter destruction. It also feels really good when you beat a level.

Little victories. Because I’m not eating processed sugar. Otherwise I’d be eating Milk Duds by the carton right now. Not sure how I feel about the substitution.

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