When I was a kid, we always had a bird feeder. Except I didn’t really care about the birds. Not a bird enthusiast. They’re fine, I hear they make great pets, but they weren’t as cute as squirrels. Squirrels would go after any bird seed fallen to ground, the whole point of the feeder being they couldn’t get to where the birds were eating. Well, I promoted the idea–and it took a long time to get my mom on board–of feeding the squirrels. For a time, it was awesome. Until one of the squirrels, who had grown heavy with the proffered bird seed, started following my mom back to the house because he figured she must have more food in there. I think he started following her to the stairs, then up the stairs, and finally he jumped onto the screen. Heavy or not, a fit fellow. Anyway, at that point, the feeding of the squirrels came to an end.