So I haven’t seen It Follows but I did just have this Lovecraftian nightmare about being trapped in some shithole town in—no, not New England—California. A valley. But it was filled with people who’d tried to figure out what was going on with the evil thing. And you couldn’t get out, obviously. People barely remembered how to get out because thinking about it brought back their natural shape, which was this decomposing thing because they’d been trapped in the town for so long. The weird part was it didn’t start out as a dream about It Follows. I decided, when faced with this monumental evil and only aided by my sleepy sidekick—a terrible barber (like bad at his job, I think he was generally fine, just dumb)—I must be trapped in It Follows. Which I don’t think is a post-apocalyptic, Lovecraftian nightmare. Gee, wonder why I’m having bad dreams for today.

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