I want my money back, Jim Davis

When I anthropomorphize, I tend to give the plant, animal, or object a cultural memory. My cats covet my oatmeal not just because they’re annoying, but because they know they guarded the grain in Ancient Egypt and feel its their right to eat grain whenever they wish. My car knows I just got this or that thing done. A tree whacking me with its branch just doesn’t like runners. With the cats, I’m pretty sure I do it because if it beats the alternative. They’re ravenous adorable fluff-monsters.You know, Garfield really didn’t prepare me for cat ownership.

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