If I had my way, I’d have the Creature’s hand (from Creature from the Black Lagoon) somewhere on my desk. I don’t because it was prohibitively expensive when one of those memorabilia companies put it out. Maybe some day—I can’t bring myself to use “someday,” even when it’s appropriate, I’m petty when it comes to word choice—3D printing will come along enough I can get one for a not prohibitive amount. Even then, my cats would probably knock it down. There’s plenty of other stuff I have—a Christopher Reeve Superman statue, a bitching black costume Spider-Man mini-statue—I can’t have out because my cats would knock it down. Cats terrorize. Besides eating, going to the bathroom, and sleeping, the only thing they do reliably is terrorize. Neutered ones anyway.

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