Buyer Remorse

It’s very frustrating to buy an app and not like it. I feel like I’m writing the “Deep Thoughts” version of an Apple ad. But it is frustrating not to like some game you buy. Or a productivity app? How much does it suck not to like that camera filter app? More than the painting one sucks because, really, you aren’t going to sit and fingerprint on your iDevice because it really isn’t good enough yet. Is the iPad Pro good enough for it? Who knows. If you have one of those and it really does make the magic window more magical, you’re not doing a good job telling the rest of us. But there’s no acknowledgement of it. If you spend four bucks on a latte and it takes like cow shit, you get a refund. App purchases, Starbucks, the under five dollar but not at a designated meal-time purchases—the micro-purchases. The things you can’t believe add up on the credit card statement. There’s an agreement with those purchases—they’re the pinpricks of guilty, but reasonable, pleasure throughout mundane lives. That app is there tomorrow, reminding you of your mistake. That Auntie Anne’s Pretzel you got in the Ogilvie Transportation Center after you had a shitty day at the Options Exchange and you missed your train? That feels good. It’s a good feeling. That app you bought to make pictures look so much cooler but it turns out it only works in certain kinds of light and the UI is crap? You get to be reminded of it in updates for the rest of your life. Guilty pleasures can have their costs, but they always have to be pleasures.

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